When coaches get together they talk about the problems involved running a lacrosse program. When I was the coach of the WVU team and secretary & webmaster of the National College Lacrosse League, I began collecting the "excuses" my players used for missing practices or games. Some were so funny I published them on the site to let everyone know that our problems are universal. Other coaches began sending me more.
Coaches, send me your best. I
will post the excuse
and the school it came from. Do not send the player's name. We do not need
to advertise his personal ability to B.S.
I will not post the name of the school if you ask me not to. I started with an edited list from the old NCLL site. Enjoy. - Editor
I have to leave practice early because...
1. "I have a hair
appointment." - University High Girls
I can't make practice because...
1. High schooler: "Coach, I can't make it to practice tomorrow
'cause my mom can't pick me up from school to drive me to practice."
Coach: " Son, your school is less than a mile from the field."
High schooler: "Yeah, I guess I could walk."
Coach: " No son, you will run! All the @#%&*! way!" - A high school in Tennessee
2.. "I have to go on a hay ride with my girlfriend." (Player referring to hay ride with girl friend's sorority) - West Virginia
3.. "I have a tanning appointment." West Virginia Women
4. "I got hit in the face last night with a frozen smoked hog jowl." - Penn State Club
5. "I was watching 'Star Wars'." - Allegheny College Club
6. "I'm going to Florida." (a week after spring break). - Kent State Club
7. "I'm going to the hockey game because the Flyers are my favorite team."
- Duquesne Club
8. "Hey coach, I can't practice today, I just got my nipple pierced."
9. "Coach, I can scrimmage but I'm not supposed to run laps."
10. "I can't practice today because my dog ate my cup." (Producing what is obviously the remains of a cup destroyed by a dog!)
11. "I can't make the game because my probation officer says I can't cross state lines."
12. Player: "Coach, I couldn't come to practice
because I had dodge ball practice!"
Coach: Throws ball at him and he doesn't move... "You better stick to lacrosse!" - Trinity High
I can't make the game this weekend because...
1. "My fraternity is throwing a party and I'm 'Party Chairman' so I have to be there." - West Virginia 1971
2. "I have a ticket to the Sheryl Crow concert."
- Penn State Club
I missed the game this weekend because...
1. "I fell asleep while on the internet and couldn't receive phone calls."
- Kent State Club
You even have team excuses...
1. We didn't know the playoffs were this weekend, AND we have finals,
AND we can't get enough guys for away games. - East Carolina Club
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